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There are plenty of weddings that veer from the traditional beaten path. Feel free to submit your own stories and pictures to lead by example! Knowing others have tried and succeeded can be a great relief to stressed-out couples.

Hi there! I got married last summer and from the beginning knew it would be a feminist wedding or nothing. We paid for everything ourselves to keep things how we wanted and tried to get rid of the patriarchal elements while still having something resembling a ceremony and a reception. We incorporated our interests and tried to educate our guests on why we were changing things up, because most of them are either conservative or at least not very women's-rights conscious. I figured it was my one main chance to demonstrate my feminism openly, so I came up with a list of reasons why we were changing or eliminating traditions and included it in our pamphlet. What good would feminist elements be if no one even recognized them? Without having time to explain things to all the guests, writing it all down was the best way I could think of, being a writer, to broadcast my message. And the party seems to have been good enough that no one who might have been offended complained. Score! -K & D
[For privacy reasons, some of these photos have been blurred in Photoshop.]

I couldn't imagine the thought of wearing white, for a host of reasons. So since my favorite color is blue, I figured I would wear something obviously un-traditional (though white has only been popular for about the last century). I also didn't want my attendants having to buy matching dresses and make me stand out, so I let them wear whatever they wanted. Although, some of them were so used to always being told what to wear, they agonized over having to make a decision on their own!

We had a female officiant which was what I wanted from the beginning, but at first I thought the law didn't allow for people who weren't ordained to perform weddings. It turns out some counties have a commissioner-for-a-day program to allow friends to perform this function. It was a great choice. We also wrote our own vows (which turned out to be more stories than vows), the only traditional part being some phrases we were legally required to say. (Thankfully, the state has become less sexist than it used to be in this regard.)

We love books, especially science fiction and fantasy, so we chose over one hundred books to use as centerpieces for our guests to take home. I picked out several great feminist books to include as well. The candles and bows were a concession to my sister, who was horrified that the books would look too sloppy without some traditional touches. We were both okay with the compromise.

We couldn't help but have some fun with magnet giveaways. Great propaganda, too! (The myth is that the 2-dollar bill is rare and should be saved instead of circulated.)

We also love board games (especially Euro-games) and wanted to expose our guests to some new games and give them something to do if they didn't want to dance or needed a break. The puzzle went over really well!

We couldn't not include Legos at our party. So we put bowls of them on every table and announced a boat-building contest. I know people are always looking for something to do with their hands instead of fidgeting at formal events, so I figured they would enjoy getting to play with Legos for a change.

There was also a Lego cake. It was about as far from uppity white that we could go while still having something representing us.

Send in your questions or comments through the Contact page. And please let FeministWedding.com know if you have a story or photos to share!

Hi there! I got married last summer and from the beginning knew it would be a feminist wedding or nothing. We paid for everything ourselves to keep things how we wanted and tried to get rid of the patriarchal elements while still having something resembling a ceremony and a reception. We incorporated our interests and tried to educate our guests on why we were changing things up, because most of them are either conservative or at least not very women's-rights conscious. I figured it was my one main chance to demonstrate my feminism openly, so I came up with a list of reasons why we were changing or eliminating traditions and included it in our pamphlet. What good would feminist elements be if no one even recognized them? Without having time to explain things to all the guests, writing it all down was the best way I could think of, being a writer, to broadcast my message. And the party seems to have been good enough that no one who might have been offended complained. Score! -K & D [For privacy reasons, some of these photos have been blurred in Photoshop.]
	I couldn't imagine the thought of wearing white, for a host of reasons. So since my favorite color is blue, I figured I would wear something obviously un-traditional (though white has only been popular for about the last century). I also didn't want my attendants having to buy matching dresses and make me stand out, so I let them wear whatever they wanted. Although, some of them were so used to always being told what to wear, they agonized over having to make a decision on their own!
	We had a female officiant which was what I wanted from the beginning, but at first I thought the law didn't allow for people who weren't ordained to perform weddings. It turns out some counties have a commissioner-for-a-day program to allow friends to perform this function. It was a great choice. We also wrote our own vows (which turned out to be more stories than vows), the only traditional part being some phrases we were legally required to say. (Thankfully, the state has become less sexist than it used to be in this regard.)
	We love books, especially science fiction and fantasy, so we chose over one hundred books to use as centerpieces for our guests to take home. I picked out several great feminist books to include as well. The candles and bows were a concession to my sister, who was horrified that the books would look too sloppy without some traditional touches. We were both okay with the compromise.
	We couldn't help but have some fun with magnet giveaways. Great propaganda, too! (The myth is that the 2-dollar bill is rare and should be saved instead of circulated.)
	We also love board games (especially Euro-games) and wanted to expose our guests to some new games and give them something to do if they didn't want to dance or needed a break. The puzzle went over really well!
	We couldn't not include Legos at our party. So we put bowls of them on every table and announced a boat-building contest. I know people are always looking for something to do with their hands instead of fidgeting at formal events, so I figured they would enjoy getting to play with Legos for a change.
	There was also a Lego cake. It was about as far from uppity white that we could go while still having something representing us.
Send in your questions or comments through the Contact page. And please let FeministWedding.com know if you have a story or photos to share!