"Weddings do women no good at all. They're a viper's pit of waste and despair." (172)
She goes on to discuss why weddings are really not doing anyone, especially women who get so heavily involved and invested in them, any favors. There is the cost. Why are couples spending loads of money at a stage in their life which is usually one lacking financial stability (and a downpayment for a house, among other things) and when many marriages end in divorce?
"It was--initially--going to be in a registry office in London...After I'd inhaled 600 bridal magazines and taken into account a few requests from the in-laws, however, it ended up being in a former monastery in Coventry, two days after Christmas." (178)
Then there is the myth of it being the best/happiest day of your life. She recounts the story of her own wedding, which she admits was a bad wedding. I can't tell you how unbelievable and, again, refreshing, it was to have someone write about their wedding and talk about the bad parts and why it wasn't such a good idea to expect so much out of one single day. I haven't encountered this kind of funny wit about a wedding ever.
"Then a bat flew in through the window and right into my face." (184)
She then moves on to critiquing bachelorette/hen parties, as well as the idea that getting together everyone you know and love in the same room would make a good idea at any other time in your life. You have crazy family members, religiously sensitive family friends, alcoholics, and other people with their own personal problems all mingling together in a strange place with people they don't know. Sure everyone tries to be on their best behavior, but things don't always work out the way they're supposed to.
"Aside from getting my mother tanked on White Russians, the quickest and easiest way to kill the fun good times is to put a massive pressure of expectation on it in advance."
Her final point is that brides should really, for their own sake, let go of the idea that the day is all about you and everything you want. She compares this to celebrities who do seemingly insane things like buying exotic animals to fill the void that is life. We usually laugh and mock this behavior, but somehow it is socially acceptable for women to behave out of whack if it involves a wedding. She concludes the chapter pointing out that men enjoy relaxing and pampering themselves with golf, videogames, etc. throughout their lives and don't pretend that they only get one day to be about them. They also, she points out, don't face the pressure of changing their name. But that's a topic for another day...